Alone in a Crowd

Why is it so hard to move past depression? There are times when I feel completely alone. I feel that most people have no clue how hard depression can be on someone. The emptiness and dread makes you feel like the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. I can have all areas in my life going in a positive direction and something inside says I am not worth the good and my mood changes immediately. Knowing that few people understand this issue, I bottle it inside and hide it. Hiding the issues only excels the depression. There are often times I can be in a room full of people and look around the room feeling invisible and so alone. Whether people notice you or not, you assume no one does notice.

For those that do not understand depression, it is a haze that takes over your life. You begin to lose concentration and have difficulty making decisions. The enjoyment from life is gone, as you stay tired, sad or anxious all the time. Many times with depression comes weight gain which also further enables the depression to grow. All of these negative feelings along with many others cause the person to feel more guilty or worthless. I know in my life, it keeps me comparing myself to others and what positive traits or material things they have that I do not.

The only ways I can force my depression to go away is to make myself do something; usually any type of exercise can push the ugly monster (depression) back into hiding. A simple walk clears the thoughts and can change an entire mood. Knowing how to fix a situation does not always mean you can succeed in making those feelings go away. I am learning to share my feelings with my husband and others close to me. Pay attention to those around you and any changes in behavior. Your kindness could be the very thing to pull someone from their own spell of depression.

One thought on “Alone in a Crowd

  1. Shannon Boudoin says:

    Wish there was a “Love” button for this one!!!! I struggled with depression, even had some suicidal thoughts about 15 years ago. For me, I came to realize that i was in a horrible marriage and once I moved on from that marriage i became “me” again. Now, I know that depression can happen for many reason, this simply was my reason! Love you lots!!!! #morethanyouknow

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