Not every day is a day to write about. Most days, life is just that…life. We get so bogged down in daily routine that we forget that there are things happening around us all the time in someone else’s life. I’ve shared before that my husband and I are in a group to help strengthen and grow your marriage. This week in our group time, the lesson was on “Myths and Lies about Marriage”. The part on marriage is not what I was focused on. I was more focused on the words the speaker gave about “faking it until you make it”. The point is that love is an action, not a verb to describe something. You have to act out love in any relationship in order for it to take hold.
My thoughts began to wander to those who are like me and also suffer from depression. I kept thinking that suffering depression and the resulting coping mechanism seem to operate the same way. When I focus on someone else, and helping with anything other than my problem or worry, I am acting on the “fake it till you make it” and I look up to find I have made it out of that season. It does not work instantly in most cases, and the hurt is not instantly gone. It is so comforting to think that as I walk daily just trying to “make it”, I can ACT out kindness, mercy, and grace to others, and my problems seem to be much smaller.
The term used was “Fog of War”, which means the uncertainty in situational awareness experiences. It describes your own uncertainty in your own capabilities during times of adversity and how you handle those situations. So for those of us with depression, the “fog of war” is hard to prepare for but it is possible. Knowing the situation is coming because we understand that we have depression can prepare us for times when we do not feel like doing good, but knowing it is coming and being prepared to “fake it till we make” can be the life-saving move to keep us going.